tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post6914423281041696711..comments2024-03-07T09:18:49.166-08:00Comments on What the...?!: 'Imagine Me And You' Open ThreadJames Nicholashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06715293983358801138noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-41745494292040449582010-12-09T19:35:48.941-08:002010-12-09T19:35:48.941-08:00Just reading back through this, or at least those ...Just reading back through this, or at least those comments that actually pertained to <i>Imagine Me and You</i>, I have to say that Cathy is <i>really</i> good at this.<br /><br />I tip my hat to the master.<br /><br />: )James Nicholashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06715293983358801138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-85490740663684162112010-09-01T16:38:45.422-07:002010-09-01T16:38:45.422-07:00Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day...Mike: So how long do I wait to call? <br />Trent: A day. <br />Mike: Tomorrow. <br />Sue: Tomorrow, then a day. <br />Trent: Yeah. <br />Mike: So two days? <br />Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days. <br />Sue(a boy named Sue): Definitely, two days is like industry standard. <br />Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think? <br />Sue: Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious. <br />Trent: Yeah, two's enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you... <br />Mike: Yeah, but you know what, mabey I'll wait 3 weeks. How's that? <br /><br />Darrell, you are <i>so money!</i>James Nicholashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06715293983358801138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-90399027855509374282010-09-01T16:18:05.358-07:002010-09-01T16:18:05.358-07:00What don't you understand about instant gratif...What don't you understand about instant gratification? Two days? What is this, the early Naughties? Times were simpler then.Darrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11277966379512526469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-43834420661575161792010-09-01T10:17:31.887-07:002010-09-01T10:17:31.887-07:00I graduated high school in '77.
Swingers is...I graduated high school in '77. <br /><br /><b>Swingers</b> is available on Netflix, if you can't find it at the local video store. Two days and you're golden. But you've got to wait two days. Two days is the industry standard. Two days and you're money. You're so money, and you don't even know it!James Nicholashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06715293983358801138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-15031356862115121102010-08-31T22:34:37.784-07:002010-08-31T22:34:37.784-07:00Question, Jim. How old are you if I may ask? A ran...Question, Jim. How old are you if I may ask? A range is fine if you don't want to reveal too much. The reason I ask is Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau.Darrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11277966379512526469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-3986562142237907222010-08-31T22:27:56.533-07:002010-08-31T22:27:56.533-07:00I've seen Notting Hill, and I just started a o...I've seen <i>Notting Hill</i>, and I just started a one month free trial on Netflix and they have that title available for streaming. <i>Swingers</i> is not available instantly. Do you know that they have hundreds of movies on Hulu, some even watchable? You might want to root around there for some ideas before you select something for your club.<br /><br />Cathy? I think you will like Mrs. Dalloway (1997). It's a Virginia Woolf story set in London before and after WWI. Vanessa Redgrave is the principal star, along with Natascha McElhone and Lena Headey. It's a film of moods and manners, and if you can tolerate Julia Roberts, you can handle Vanessa.Darrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11277966379512526469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-16926385370333642942010-08-31T21:32:18.631-07:002010-08-31T21:32:18.631-07:00Nut! ;)Nut! ;)cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13245395774915274363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-71322879097557890492010-08-31T21:07:24.999-07:002010-08-31T21:07:24.999-07:00Swingers is about a guy who has left home and whos...<b>Swingers</b> is about a guy who has left home and whose girlfriend broke up with him just at the time he was leaving. He can't make it in LA as a comedian, and he can't get over the girl he has left behind. He is an absolute train-wreck. Into the mix is his best friend, the irrepressible, Vince Vaughn, who sees opportunity everywhere, and whose easy manner makes him friends wherever he goes. It's a guy's movie I suppose, about moving on and getting over the fear of asking someone on a date ... but it's good fun.<br /><br />Hey Cathy, <i>"I'm think I'm picking up a vibe about this one. Oh yeah...definitely. It's on! It's so incredibly on!!"</i><br /><br />: )James Nicholashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06715293983358801138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-46439238803773547252010-08-31T20:34:52.755-07:002010-08-31T20:34:52.755-07:00Yes, indeed!
: )Yes, indeed!<br /><br />: )James Nicholashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06715293983358801138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-37000305311839928662010-08-31T20:06:07.255-07:002010-08-31T20:06:07.255-07:00Swingers?!
Does this mean I get to pick Notting H...<i>Swingers</i>?!<br /><br />Does this mean I get to pick <i>Notting Hill</i> after all? <br /><br />;)cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13245395774915274363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-50097719051531298152010-08-31T20:01:47.949-07:002010-08-31T20:01:47.949-07:00"It's all about being gracious to those o...<i>"It's all about being gracious to those of inferior rank or social standing."</i><br /><br />Well, until quite recently, a woman who outlived her father had no property, no power, and no way of providing for herself unless she married someone who could support her. Since her fate rested entirely upon her being attractive, accomplished, fine-familied, or hard-working enough to secure a legitimate proposal of marriage, in effect being rescued from penury by a man who would now basically own her, it was considered less than gracious to call attention to this dependency by offering her congratulations (attributing her future security to good luck, or commending her on her successfully securing her future). Rather, the bride was best-wished health, happiness, etc, while the fact of the bride's having accepted the groom's proposal was treated as if her acceptance secured all that was essential to <i>his</i> future well-being, and he was congratulated. A pretty little fiction for most, and a kernel of truth for the very fortunate.<br /><br />I had hoped that a bit of googling would turn up something to indicate when the rule about what to say to whom was formalized, but no luck so far. I presume it predates the Victorians, although it may not have been written down anywhere before that.<br /><br />The distinction is mentioned as if well-known in the 1922 Emily Post <i>Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home</i>: "But remember it is a breach of good manners to congratulate a bride on having secured a husband." (Bartleby.com) It appears as a rule, again, no explanation offered, in my 1952 <i>Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette</i>.<br /><br />Miss Manners (Judith Martin) is far more entertaining, of course. Although in the 1982 edition of <i>Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior</i> she answers the question of "Why is that?" with a brief "Because of inequality in the marriage laws," her response in the 2005 edition (under the chapter "Marriage (For Beginners)" is somewhat expanded:<br /><br />"... Even though the rule is still in effect, most people break it, yet modern brides are highly unlikely to be insulted by being congratulated.<br /><br />This is not because the courtship patterns have changed. Even if the lady proposes to the gentleman on bended knee, Miss Manners and other polite people should figure he is lucky to get her. Nor is it entirely because those who offer congratulations mean well but don't know the rule and it would be churlish to quibble.<br /><br />It is because today's brides hear far worse. Those who are repeatedly told 'It's about time!' and asked 'Are you pregnant?' are only too happy to accept kind thoughts, however they are phrased."cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13245395774915274363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-60482640018617721472010-08-31T19:26:56.731-07:002010-08-31T19:26:56.731-07:00Okay... I think I'm going out on a limb here. ...Okay... I think I'm going out on a limb here. Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau in a crazy, guys trying to make it in LA while still having a little fun kind of story .. just to be a little out there.. I think you will <i>all</i> enjoy <b>Swingers</b>.James Nicholashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06715293983358801138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-55722611305755222182010-08-31T08:52:37.096-07:002010-08-31T08:52:37.096-07:00"It's all about being gracious to those o..."<i>It's all about being gracious to those of inferior rank or social standing.</i>"<br /><br />Now, develop this though a bit more.Ilíonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15339406092961816142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-71537594668104998362010-08-31T08:24:10.973-07:002010-08-31T08:24:10.973-07:00Since it has traditionally been up to the man to o...Since it has traditionally been up to the man to offer marriage to the woman, who was limited to accepting or refusing those offers she was fortunate enough to receive, it was incorrect to congratulate the bride on her good fortune of finding a man who would marry her -- she was offered "Best wishes" -- but the groom was congratulated on his implied good fortune that the lady accepted his proposal.<br /><br />It's all about being gracious to those of inferior rank or social standing.cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13245395774915274363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-90580316315845006832010-08-31T07:59:02.852-07:002010-08-31T07:59:02.852-07:00Nicholas: "... No matter who people consider ...<b>Nicholas:</b> "<i>... No matter who people consider to be 'the lucky one', by my lights its always the groom, and any groom worth his salt should have the wherewithal to publicly say so.</i>"<br /><br />It is customary to say to the prospective groom, "<i>Congratulations!</i>," and to the prospective bride, "<i>Good Luck!</i>" -- which is to say, "<i>You don't deserve her; you lucked out!</i>" and "<i>You could have done better than him; you'll certainly need a lot of luck to get him into shape!</i>," respectively.<br /><br />This was doubtless a custom invented by women of the Victorian era; and it expresses perfectly "your lights."<br /><br />And, therein, in miniature, is the root of the contemporary problem between the sexes.Ilíonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15339406092961816142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-62903590865109234532010-08-30T22:43:21.467-07:002010-08-30T22:43:21.467-07:00Oh...and listen for Rachel to say (to Heck) "...Oh...and listen for Rachel to say (to Heck) "You were my best friend. It was enough before. It will be again."Darrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11277966379512526469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-86466435237576171702010-08-30T22:40:50.330-07:002010-08-30T22:40:50.330-07:00If you are going to watch again, notice how Luce i...If you are going to watch again, notice how Luce is presented as a woman who interacts naturally and believably with men and women. She has a normal life and a loving relationship with her mother. That would not be notable, except that it is rarely seen in a Hollywood movie. No "community" caricatures surrounding her. Only one awkward scene in the grocery store.Darrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11277966379512526469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-53789062927886622482010-08-30T22:34:02.066-07:002010-08-30T22:34:02.066-07:00Yeah, I loved your comments on Rob and Heck's ...Yeah, I loved your comments on Rob and Heck's business approach. And I'm sure you're in the right of it in terms of the rather non-committal commitment the two newly weds likely made. Heck, Heck was at an utter loss for words when asked to stand up and give a toast. It is your send off, and every groom should be willing to state that he is the luckiest man alive. Come on, you managed to find a girl willing to commit herself to be married ... <i>to you!</i> That's quite an achievement in itself, and worthy of being underscored. No matter who people consider to be 'the lucky one', by my lights its always the groom, and any groom worth his salt should have the wherewithal to publicly say so. <br /><br />Heck was a lucky guy, and if he couldn't say that, well then that's bad luck for them both.James Nicholashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06715293983358801138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-34443086635329372052010-08-30T21:55:57.259-07:002010-08-30T21:55:57.259-07:00Ideally, before getting married, one considers the...<i>Ideally, before getting married, one considers the likelihood of meeting someone to whom one will be attracted after getting married. There are a hell of a lot of attractive people out there, whether you're drawn to them physically or intellectually, the time to decide whether or not you're willing to put yourself in a position to have your feelings for another person intensify is before you pledge your life and your love -- before you promise to behave lovingly to another regardless of how loving you feel day to day -- before the wedding.</i><br /><br />In a perfect world. If you really believe it will be "until death do us part"--which few people really do, these days. We didn't get to see the proposal but it was probably something like "Do you want to get married? Ans. "Why not?"<br />As far as I know, the only place they really counsel enagaged couple before marriage is in the Catholic Church with the Pre-Cana counseling.<br />There couples are at least confronted with notions of lifetime committment and God, children, budgeting, goals, sex and interpersonal relationships--everyday stuff. You would think that discussion of those issue would come naturally given that a lot of couples have lived together, but you'd be surprised. The notion that either party can end it rather quickly today plays a big part in people avoiding the big picture. And you have to remember that this is Great Britain--which has traveled even further down the road of squishy socialism than we have. Although there is that "hanging on in lonely desperation is the English way" business. When marriages are (were) put together for social status and position, lots of things take a back seat. Like personal happiness.Darrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11277966379512526469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-63736385405416446202010-08-30T21:32:45.755-07:002010-08-30T21:32:45.755-07:00Imagine me and you I do
I think about you day and ...<i>Imagine me and you I do<br />I think about you day and night <br />It's only right <br />To think about the girl you love <br />And hold her tight <br />So happy together <br />If I should call you up invest a dime <br />And you say you belong to me<br />And ease my mind <br />Imagine how the world could be<br />So very fine <br />So happy together <br />I can see me lovin' nobody but you<br />For all my life <br />When you're with me baby the skies'll be blue <br />For all my life <br />Me and you and you and me<br />No matter how they toss the dice <br />It had to be<br />The only one for me is you<br />And you for me<br />So happy together <br />I can see me lovin' nobody but you<br />For all my life <br />When you're with me baby the skies'll be blue <br />For all my life <br />Me and you and you and me<br />No matter how they toss the dice <br />It had to be<br />The only one for me is you<br />And you for me<br />So happy together <br />Me and you and you and me<br />No matter how they toss the dice <br />It had to be<br />The only one for me is you<br />And you for me<br />So happy together <br />So happy together <br />How is the weather <br />So happy together <br />We're happy together <br />So happy together <br />Happy together <br />So happy together <br />So happy together <br /><b>The Turtles (originally "The Tyrtles" ala "The Byrds or The Beatles" 1966</b></i><br /><br />I admit it--I've been brainwashed! I believe every word. This is from the soundtrack of the formative years of my life and I don't just believe it, I expect it. Put away your flowcharts and balance sheets, all I need is LOVE.Darrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11277966379512526469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-56435539354549352392010-08-30T13:01:58.249-07:002010-08-30T13:01:58.249-07:00Very well said, Cathy.
I must admit I have been a...Very well said, Cathy.<br /><br />I must admit I have been a bit of a goof ball about this movie, perhaps not as willing to embrace it as one might hope. Darrell quite capably countered most of my objections to the mechanisms of the story's development, and we are left with the story itself. I did think the score was lovely, and that it was a beautifully photographed movie. <br /><br />That being said what I am keen to know is what Darrell thought of the movie. I'm gonna give it another whirl - tonight I think. What might one appreciate on closer inspection?James Nicholashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06715293983358801138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-32085198175990992762010-08-30T08:01:34.382-07:002010-08-30T08:01:34.382-07:00(Continued)
But Rachel does put herself in the wa...(Continued)<br /><br />But Rachel <i>does</i> put herself in the way of having her feelings become complicated. She tells herself at first she just thinks she and Luce are destined to be great friends. But when she <i>does</i> decide that it's not right for her attraction to Luce to pull her away from Heck, <i>she goes to see her to "end it."</i> Yes, that always works out well. Almost as well as telling someone who loves you that you love somebody else, but you're going to stick around anyway. When a mid-life crisis husband springs this on the mother of his children, you can make a case for staying in the marriage. But how the hell is a young newlywed supposed to go on as if nothing has changed? If you've made a mistake -- especially as brief and limited as Rachel's -- you can re-commit yourself to the relationship you're choosing <i>without</i> breaking the heart of the person who loves you.<br /><br />So the plot devices that make Rachel "free" are so very poignant and convenient, and the feelings the young women seem to have for each other look so lovely, and the idea that you can meet someone and immediately know that you are perfectly suited for each other is such a wishfully-held romantic notion, that the filmmakers have removed every obstacle from True Love's Path.<br /><br />Except, if you had been happily partnered, and decide to marry, someone of the opposite sex, and out of the blue find yourself sexually attracted to someone you've just met, of the same sex, wouldn't it seem a good idea to explore this a bit with someone objective and qualified, before making major life decisions? Rather than lying in bed next to your sleeping spouse and frowning into the distance? Because we <i>all</i> know what excellent counsel is to be found in the lack of sleep.cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13245395774915274363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-59240785387247226042010-08-30T07:58:24.689-07:002010-08-30T07:58:24.689-07:00Well, golly. This is one of the loveliest movies ...Well, golly. This is one of the loveliest movies I've seen in some time, and better crafted than most. The music is wonderful, the sets and the lighting, not to mention the principals' physical beauty, make this a delight to watch. The little sister, H, is wonderful, as well as being an effective device for some key plot elements. (Apparently, Luce is "invited" to the wedding so that she can keep H contained.) The characters are sympathetic, particularly Rachel and Luce -- each of them trying not to act on the desires she feels, each feeling so bad for the others who would be hurt, each trying to "get over it" by distancing herself. And then we see the happy endings for everybody -- the supporting characters, Luce and Rachel, even Heck, who gets to work on his travel book after all AND meet his own "at first sight" girl.<br /><br />A few problems, though. I usually skip movies that promote things I believe are wrong, and even setting aside the homosexuality (for the moment), I take issue with the notion that it's alright to "follow your heart" when that means abandoning your spouse. Ideally, before getting married, one considers the likelihood of meeting someone to whom one will be attracted after getting married. There are a hell of a lot of attractive people out there, whether you're drawn to them physically or intellectually, the time to decide whether or not you're willing to put yourself in a position to have your feelings for another person intensify is <i>before</i> you pledge your life and your love -- before you promise to behave lovingly to another regardless of how loving you <i>feel</i> day to day -- before the wedding.<br /><br />Ironically, although not at all uncommonly, Rachel and Heck did everything else before the wedding. They used up their honeymooners' enthusiasm when they moved in together (or perhaps even before then); they were already a long -settled couple before they married. So settled, they don't even take a honeymoon. If it hadn't been for meeting "that flower girl," the wedding would have been nothing more than a fancy party over the weekend. We see them -- especially Rachel -- already somewhat dismissive of each others thoughts and feelings; the filmmakers' "before" picture of marriage, with Rachel's parents' bitterness and contempt for each other their "after" picture.<br /><br />(Continued)cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13245395774915274363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-62913678967934784182010-08-30T06:33:42.609-07:002010-08-30T06:33:42.609-07:00"By all means, let's keep emotion out of ..."<i>By all means, let's keep emotion out of love.</i>"<br /><br />Now you're being dishonest ... and it's no cuter when you do it than when some "liberal" does it.<br /><br />"<i>I'll pass your sentiments along to Hallmark, Mr. Spock.</i>"<br /><br />As if Hallmark ... or schlocky sentimentality ... has anything to do with love.Ilíonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15339406092961816142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491397194259005985.post-79856946083707082432010-08-30T05:50:31.199-07:002010-08-30T05:50:31.199-07:00By all means, let's keep emotion out of love.
...By all means, let's keep emotion out of love.<br />I'll pass your sentiments along to Hallmark, Mr. Spock.<br /><br />I really don't think your feelings that come from a blood sugar drop are at all related. No evolutionary imperative with that, unless taking them all with you helps the species. Don't most people experience weakness, shakiness, instead?<br /><br />And for the record, Luce and Rachel only shared a kiss, an urgent hug (and a kiss), and a rousing game of Dance-Dance Fever in an arcade. Rachel was going to stop seeing Luce even casually and Luce was about to leave town. Heck didn't even think about asking Luce to move in. Talk about requiring me to engage in a willing suspension of disbelief. It's Sarah Connor, Man! Are you daft?Darrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11277966379512526469noreply@blogger.com