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Saturday, December 3, 2011

TSA's "Proper Procedures" Cause Only Minor Injury

TSA agents found no explosives or weapons on the elderly disabled woman, and correctly concluded she posed no serious risk to the lives of her fellow passengers. Furthermore, it goes without saying that if she had not been taking blood thinners, the leg wound suffered by Lenore Zimmerman would not have bled so profusely. These are the conclusions one can safely arrive at as our TSA continues to exert its coercive powers.

Spinal compression fractures have reduced her frame to 4-foot-11, but one can never be too sure. Once stripped and searched, the TSA agents allowed Ms. Zimmerman to proceed to her flight. Unfortunately the walker Ms. Zimmerman uses was banged against her right leg, and the resultant gash required airport paramedics to control the bleeding.

Wound dressed and her tetanus updated, she was all right to proceed with her travel plans. Of course, by than she had missed her flight.
TSA spokeswoman Lisa Farbstein said a review of closed circuit TV footage from the airport shows “proper procedures were followed.”
I can't tell you how very reassuring it is to know that proper TSA procedures were followed.

As Ms. Zimmerman has an implanted internal defibrilator, she had asked to forego the body scanner at JFK Airport in favor of a light pat down. Instead she was led off to a surprise strip search by two TSA employees. Alarmed at the "thoroughness" of the TSA investigation, Ms Zimmerman asked the TSA agents
"Proper procedures were followed."
“Why are you doing this?”, but the agents did not respond.
I believe that was proper TSA procedure as well.
“Our screening procedures are conducted in a manner designed to treat all passengers with dignity, respect and courtesy.” Farbstein added.
What could be more dignified than a two agent strip search?

Zimmerman's son was surprised to learn of the strip search.
“She looks like a sweet, little old lady. She’s not a disruptive person or uncooperative.”
All the more reason to get underneath the very deep game she obviously was playing. Just look at those eyes.

21 comments:

  1. If the TSA has to kill us all to save us, so be it. We've come a long way since those WWII giants fought the enemy instead of themselves.
    We should feel so proud of ourselves. . .

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  2. It's a great title. I am frequently grateful for your ability to discuss the beyond-depressing realities of Life Today with a bit of humor.

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  3. Cathy!!!
    I hope Santa brings you a computer to replace the one you let your niece use. It's like waiting for snail mail--cruel and unusual punishment in the electronic age!

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  4. Or like waiting for James' "Recent Comments" box to update. What the....?!

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  5. What the.. ?!! is right, with a double !! Those post times are Pacific, people. And I know you don't live anywhere near these parts. You are BOTH up WAY past your bedtime! More fun will be had tomorrow. Should be The Family Man, and I believe Cathy will follow that with While You Were Sleeping! Could be good fun.

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  6. You assume I sleep?
    Wouldn't my comments be coherent then?

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  7. OK, I had to see if there was any conceivable "other side" to this story.

    There is: The TSA claims there was no strip search. Hmm.

    They agree that there was a private screening, claiming that the customer requested it.: A review of closed-circuit television at the airport showed that proper procedures before and after the screening were followed, Jonathan Allen, a TSA spokesman, said in a statement.

    ...

    However, the private screening was not recorded.

    ...

    An EMT treated Mrs. Zimmerman's wound, and counseled her to see a doctor and get a tetanus shot.

    However, there are no records indicating medical attention was called on her behalf.

    (Emphasis added.)

    So, the TSA folks

    1) recorded what happened to her before she was taken to a "private screening" area,

    2) did not record her being taken to a private screening,

    3) did not record that what happenened during the private screening caused the customer to require medical attention,

    4) recorded what happened after the private screening,

    and

    5) expect us to believe that they didn't do what she claimed they did during the time that was not recorded.

    Oh, OK.

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  8. Pleasant dreams!
    What did you say?
    "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
    OK! Carry on then. . .

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  9. Will you keep the noise down? There's people here trying to sleep.

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  10. Sleeping in the UK? You are a brave man, indeed.
    I wouldn't try that once you ban coal and other fossil fuels. Now that you are generating electricity from the crematoriums, the BBC will be sending out scouts to gather enough "donors"
    to provide viewers with the entertainment they've come to expect--and the power to watch it. Just like Public Television in the US.

    I expect to make a fortune with my new pyjamas with "Sleeping, Not Dead...Move Along!" in a repeating pattern. And the matching forehead tattoos.

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  11. As far as (allegedly not) recording the "private screening" ... they wouldn't, or wouldn't and couldn't admit it. Can you imagine the uproar if they were (or admitted they were) recording strip-searches?

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  12. This woman is obviously that terrorist "little blue-haired Norwegian lady from Minnesota" of whom has been warning the nation for years!

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  13. The TSA claims that no strip search occurred. They then go on to state:

    "Private screening was requested by the passenger, it was granted and lasted approximately 11 minutes"

    This woman was patted down, for eleven minutes?! Eleven minutes?!! What in Sam Hill are they about, patting this woman down for eleven minutes? Why would a pat down take so long? How much patting is required to assure yourself that the octogenarian isn't packing?

    Look, no matter how you slice it the actions of the TSA are ludicrous. What threat were they addressing during those eleven minutes? In what manner did they recognize that Ms. Zimmerman posed a threat? How does this process of ill considered searches make anyone safe?

    My primary complaint against the TSA's methods is that no thinking goes into the process. In fact, they pride themselves on their lack of thought, as evidenced by their hasty and utterly meaningless defense that "Proper procedures were followed." The result of their reliance on procedure is innocent people are detained and searched in the most invasive and demeaning manner, and air travel in specific and the national security in general are not in the least bit improved.

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  14. "Look, no matter how you slice it the actions of the TSA are ludicrous."

    Of course.

    "What threat were they addressing during those eleven minutes? In what manner did they recognize that Ms. Zimmerman posed a threat?"

    The threat that *other* passengers might get "uppity" -- after all, there is nothing more threatening to the bureaucratic mindset than the mindset of free-citizens.

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  15. "In fact, they pride themselves on their lack of thought, as evidenced by ..."

    But, of course. In Bureaucracy World, thinking might get you fired, but "just following the rules" -- no matter what the result -- is totally safe. For the bureaucrat, and his Bureaucracy.

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  16. In fact, they pride themselves on their lack of thought

    As evidenced by stopping a teen girl from taking her purse aboard a flight because it featured a gun design on its front--a cheap metal casting made to look like an embossed western pistol, 4-5" in length. You can't be too careful. I have not felt so safe since they kicked that little kid out of school for bringing a gun to class--a 3/4" molded plastic gun that fit in G.I. Joe's hand.

    http://www.news4jax.com/news/Teen-stopped-at-airport-for-design-on-purse/-/475880/4858586/-/qijcv5/-/index.html

    These people don't even care about keeping the public safe. It's all about stupid rules and the power of enforcement.

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  17. "Gibbs said she was headed back home to Jacksonville from a holiday trip when an agent flagged her purse as a security risk.

    "She was like, 'This is a federal offense because it's in the shape of a gun,'" Gibbs said. "I'm like, 'But it's a design on a purse. How is it a federal offense?'"

    After agents figured out the gun was a fake, Gibbs said, TSA told her to check the bag or turn it over."


    Check it or turn it over, young lady.

    "By the time security wrapped up the inspection, the pregnant teen missed her flight, and Southwest Airlines sent her to Orlando instead"

    When a pregnant 17 yo is offering a better argument than the government official in charge of airport security ... we've got problems.

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