Sad. This is just so sad...

If Jim Carey were the appropriate age, he would marry Emma Stone, and they would have chubby freckled face kids, go camping, tell ghost stories by the fire, and sex .... .... ... Jim can't even say how amazing that would be, but with a roll of his eyes and a boyish smirk, he thinks Emma will be able to get an idea of what kind of fun that might be. At least Jim is hoping it conveys interest in a playful and non-threatening way. Yeah, the world would pretty much be his oyster, er, her oyster, her oyster, if only he were the "appropriate" age.

Yep, that's a sad one all right. Jimmy almost gets a little misty eyed thinking of his cruel fate. Oh, and by the way, Jim has done a careful search, and all he can find in terms of signs of aging are a few lines on his face, some gray in his beard, and a longer time required for him to pee (in case, Emma, you really wanted to know).

Well, there are a few more signs, the most obvious being that the women you find yourself attracted to keep getting younger, and your pitch seems more and more bizarre and inappropriate. Can you imagine, Jim, a twenty-five year old guy making a pitch for Emma Stone by video like this? How about if you were twenty-five, would you try a video pitch about freckle faced children and roasting marsh-mellows by the fire? No, huh? Well, take that as a clue. You ain't twenty-five.

Look, Jim, you don't know this girl. Despite leaving the cut-off point vague and possibly open to correction, you're right in the first place, you are not the appropriate age for this young girl, and if you had any real care for her you would hope that she would work those issues out in her own good time, and with someone other than you.

Oh and Jim, Emma Stone will be getting older with each passing day as well. She's not always going to look so fresh and innocent. She will look more mature, and hopefully, she will be. Can we say the same for you? If not, then what? Another video play for some other twenty year old? Please. Leave that crap to Bill Maher. It's pathetic.

Update

"I was just joking!"

"People often ask me if i'm being funny or serious. The answer is 'YES'"

We know that. Hardee har.

Look Jim, to summarize for you, you're really not that good of an actor, Bill Maher trolling down at the Playboy mansion is pathetic, and your video offering is creepy no matter how you go about looking at it, because as we all know, for something to be funny, there has to be a bit of truth behind it.