Tuesday, November 29, 2011

She's Too Funny!

Ever catch April Gavaza at inveterate scars?
A Warning

I feel bad for the husband. He patiently sits through every one of my first person POV rants, waiting until the end to politely nod in agreement as if I haven't given him the same speech at least once a week. The rambling diatribe is usually preceded by the unceremonious dumping of some unfortunate scifi tome into the trash bin and the statement, "It's harder than it looks, people!"
She's telling this to the collective authors of the various books she's reading!
Because not just anyone can craft a lush narrative out of what is actually a very myopic view of the tale. Not everyone can weave depth and clarity into one person's version of events. Very few writers remember that just because you are writing "I" does not mean that you are telling the story. The narrator is not necessarily the person with their name on the front cover. If you must write yourself into the story, give yourself a cameo.

Charlie Huston, Chuck Palahniuk, Tom Piccirilli and a few others are good at first person. Many others sound like bad detective noir, and not in the fun, campy way.

Don't make me throw your book in the trash, people. Think before you start down that road.
I love the way she orders these guys around. "Think! Think!!!" Geez!

And on the more personal side:

My hair is tragic. Never go to SuperCuts on a whim, clutching a picture of Jean Seberg. As alluring as the $20 price tag may be, it is not worth it. Not. Worth. It. Needless to say, no new pictures until it grows out a bit. I try not to regret going short, but a bad haircut is a bad haircut.
I'm sorry, this stuff just cracks me up. It's pretty fun.

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